Gosling's Grouse: A tooth for a tooth

GOSLING'S GROUSE

I went to the dentist the other day for the first time in three years, and prior to that it had been five years since I had been to see her. Twice in eight years - not bad, I thought. I only went recently because I was worried about being knocked off the register - so effectively I paid £35 for a quick five minute check to re-register.

I suppose it was like a piece of insurance against not being on the list if I had a major toothache. Once I had been given the ok by the dentist, I succumbed to a visit to the hygienist, during which I was charged £50 to be told to get a new toothbrush, floss more and buy some of those tiny little brushes for your back teeth. In fact, seeing the hygienist is a bit like being at school and being reprimanded for not doing your homework. I realised I had just paid to be told off. I will not be going back for at least another three years, unless I am unlucky and get a toothache. As I lay ...